@PrettiestPickle: Drinking game. Make the drunkest person in the room call in a Chinese food order. Every time they have to repeat themselves, take a shot.
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@Lowenaffchen: *affixes a second leash to a hot babes dog while shes tying her shoe* would you look at that. we have the exact same dog. this is incredible
@chrisdelia: Hey girls, you are not a "mommy" just because you own a dog. You have to have a kid to be a mommy. If you are a mommy, then I am a dragon.
@LittleMissZesty: No matter how good your raspberry body wash smells, don't be tempted to drizzle it over your ice cream. I've been burping bubbles for days.
@FatherWithTwins: 4yo: Raise your hand if you are young Me: *raises hand 4yo: No, daddy, not you.