@PrettiestPickle: Drinking game. Make the drunkest person in the room call in a Chinese food order. Every time they have to repeat themselves, take a shot.
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@dafloydsta: [on a date] *wonders if she'll steal my fries while I use the restroom* *shakes Magic 8 ball* "YES" *takes plate of fries with me*
@nthonyswan: Airlines. Graciously giving you the choice to have feet, or a personal item, but not both.
@tastefactory: My cousin was Mulder on Halloween. He loves the X-Files! Oh stupid autocorrect. That should have said "murdered". And "loved", past tense.
@DebraMuffin: Nothing says 'I dont take you seriously' like your dog wagging his tail when you are yelling at him.