@Home_Halfway: Dropped a gorilla into my apartment so I could shoot my roommate
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@EllenPallas: Life tip - buy a birthday card with your morning bottle of wine and people will think it's a gift. You are welcome.
@mindintheshadow: My ex is looking for a job but I don't think satan is retiring anytime soon so I suppose she'll be unemployed for a while.
@kidphonic: Funny how you can tell a child Santa is made up and they accept it immediately, but you tell an adult God is made up, and they throw a fit.