@thomaslennon: Dropped my son for his first day of kindergarten today. Does anybody know what age you're supposed to pick them up?
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@Smug_Lemur: It looks like bathroom tai chi but it's me trying to trigger the automatic paper towel dispenser.
@simonblackwell: At the polling station. Bodes well for Labour - loads of young people here. Or I might possibly be at the wrong primary school.
@kwirkyKerri: Looking to marry a pharmacist. Looks and personality optional. Just don't lose your job.
@BigOlBossman: WAITER: soup or salad? CLARK KENT: *sweating nervously* just a REGULAR salad for a REGULAR guy please ha ha. nothing super about it...