@TheDairylandDon: [drops capsule in woman's drink] Maybe when that's finished, we can get out of here? [green sponge dinosaur grows out of glass] Ready to go?
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@StellaRtwot: Make any conversation awkward by pulling out and starting a stopwatch without saying why you're doing it.
@MatCro: [bed] ME: [with one foot poking out of the covers] Monsters could get me ME: [pulling foot under covers] I am now completely safe
@iheartgunts: Phil Collins' "In The Air Tonight" is the best ever song about a silent but deadly fart.
@onion_an: [jumps in getaway car after bank robbery] "They said no I couldn't have any money" Damn it, they make it look so easy in the movies