@TheDairylandDon: [drops capsule in woman's drink] Maybe when that's finished, we can get out of here? [green sponge dinosaur grows out of glass] Ready to go?
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@ElKnuckelhombre: My kid said he was gonna jump off the roof using a blanket as a parachute and I was like "That won't work you idiot. Go get my umbrella".
@Brampersandon_: ME (watching a sea of a million llamas stampede over the horizon): dear God, it's the alpacalypse
@NotJPo: In my house there are 5 females, 9423 pony tail holders, 49 bottles of nail polish, 8 justin bieber posters & 1 very patient, worn down man.