@scottthetwat: Drug sniffing dogs are wrong 80 percent of the time. You would be too if you were sniffing drugs all day.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@sofarrsogud: Guys, ladies love a rugged man. Be like a wolf. Knock down her house. Eat her grandmother. Tear her to shreds. *makes wolf sounds
@pudding_club: *calls mom* "Ma I made 3 friends on twitter today" *long pause* "Mom?" *mom stares at 3 fake twitter accounts she made, fights tears* "Mom?"
@jazmasta: [running from a knife wielding murderer] oh hell yeah, my Fitbit steps are gonna be OFF THE SCALE today