@burntmybagel: Drugs are great until they fall into the wrong hands. I am referring, of course, to the cops or people who don't enjoy life.
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@ibid78: "Your résume says you spent 4 years in England. What were you doing?" *flashback to me trying to find the actual Hogwarts* "Grad school."
@kjmeow: "FOR SALE: blender, like new. Does NOT make things taste like crayons ALSO FOR SALE: wax fruit, slightly scratched."