@jazmasta: Drugs are never the answer kids. Unless the question is "why have you been checking under the carpet for lizards for 3 days straight?"
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@OhNoSheTwitnt: Don't forget to take a screen shot of the weather forecast today and post it on Instagram.
@FreudsTwin: Mad scientist- Checks for Labs Bartender- Checks for Tabs Boxer- Checks for Jabs Uber- Checks for Cabs Your back - Checks for Stabs
@maebemarbles: *holds flashlight under chin* "...and then the typo appears, AFTER you hit send!!" *everyone screams in horror*
@samfromks: I told my 3 year old that Skittles are Care Bear meat and now I have the bag to myself.