@SoGoFu: Dryer settings:
- not the least bit dry
- shrunk to barely fit 12 yr old you
@meganamram: My face is very symmetrical...over the x-axis :(
@stephenjmolloy: Security: Animals aren't allowed in this art gallery, sir.
Me: It's my guide dog.
Dog: Picasso, born 25/10/1881, was a Spanish painter...
@JD_KC: You can't fix stupid but you can fantasize about slapping the shit out of it.
@PeachCoffin: When I was little and asked Mom how to spell a word she'd hand me a dictionary so when she asked how to do emojis I handed her a 13-year-old
@pakalupapito: "where did all ur money go?"
I'm either wearing it or i ate it