@Donna_McCoy: It's my patriotic duty to eat bbq and wave sparklers this weekend. Don't wreck it with words like "calorie count" and "hair on fire".

@cray_at_home_ma: I realize I put this off but how much weight can I lose in 2 hours?

@joshingstern: I'll bet Vampire Kiddies enjoy scabs as much as human Kids love pudding skin

@: Any 2 white guys could walk up to me and say "we're The Chainsmokers" and I'd believe them.

@HatfieldAnne: Don't hand me the good china. That's a leap of faith you'll regret.