@mutedclamor: Dude you're a dentist. Why am I in stirrups?
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@gerryhallcomedy: Dear guy who parked his Lexus across two parking spaces: Your car got paint on my keys.
@Terdoh: If I had a brewery I would make an alcoholic drink called "Responsibly". I wouldn't even have to pay for advertising.
@SadMeterologist: My neighbors are organizing something called a "fun run". This shit never happened when I lived in my car.