@Storminika: During labour, nurse came up to me & said, 'How about Epidural Anesthesia?' I was like, 'Thanks, but I already picked a name.
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@JohnLyonTweets: "We're not lost!" Dad would insist, despite Mom's complaints that "This isn't on the map" and "We shouldn't be seeing the ocean from Tulsa."
@OhNoSheTwitnt: Coworker: By your age I was on my 3rd child already. Me: Wow that's a lot of kids to eat in a such a short period of time.
@jwoodham: Some people say America is obese, but I blame our flag. Everyone knows that horizontal stripes make you look fatter.