@dafloydsta: Whenever I get a "Final Notice" letter from a bill collector, I assume this concludes our business transaction.

@Brianhopecomedy: Just saw that my wife was googling ballroom dancing lessons and now I'm hoping that she's having an affair.

@rickygervais: Marriage should be traditional. As it was in The Bible. Between a man and a rib.

@MrsJekyllsHyde: In the Walking Dead how and when does the cop guy find time to clean, iron, and press his uniform during the zombie apocalypse?

@iwearaonesie: wife: Get your hand out of your pants toddler: Sorry son: Sorry me: Sorry