@HeidiCF8: Dyslexic, but I have a cunning stunt.
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@joejwest: HITMAN: Who's the target? ME: [slides photo across table] HITMAN: You..want me to kill Shrek? ME: Not Shrek [taps photo] his talkative horse
@pplwtching: *uses Sharpie to write, "do not drop" on your newborn's forehead before handing it back.
@notacroc: [1st date, opening scene of star wars] ME: *leans over* those are the stars DATE: thanks ME: but you have to wait for the wars