@HeidiCF8: Dyslexic, but I have a cunning stunt.
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@jjhartinger: A telemarketer called and said,"can I speak with the man of the house." I replied, "sure" and gave the phone to the cat.
@imdaintyaf: Stop fussing over whether the glass is half full or half empty and just marvel at the fact that I managed to produce that much discharge.
@TEXASVETERAN: Neighbor thinks I'm stalking her. Any time she hears a noise she is purified. Petrified! Sorry, not easy reading a diary thru binoculars.
@longwall26: May you never be as bored as whoever figured out that holding a seashell to your ear sounds like the ocean