@Terdoh: Eat, Pray, Love was such a boring movie, I watched it on a plane and people still walked out.
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@nonsensetwit: My fear of spiders happened when I went to hit one with a newspaper, and it looked at me and did pushups saying "try again bro."
@BenBrouckaert: If there isn't a fireworks company whose slogan is "our business is booming," that seems like a real missed opportunity.
@Marcmywords2: Mom She gave me life She gave me love She gave me sarcasm She gave me the ability to cut brake lines so that it looks like an accident.
@Reel2Dialog2: [Inventing octopus] God: 8 arms Angel: okayyyy G: with suckie things A: and- G: Mouth like a parrot, shoots ink A: wtf G: ...I ate mushrooms