@ibrownied: Eating clocks is probably the most time consuming thing you could ever do.
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@AbbyHasIssues: Despite evidence to the contrary, I still maintain typing louder and harder will magically make my incorrect password correct.
@robfee: If the ESPN Fantasy Football app were slower and unreliable it would be playing quarterback for the Bears.
@LMGinTN: This skinny girl just told me she "forgets" to eat? Is that possible? I just licked her face in case it's contagious.
@VerbsRProudest: Never answer knocking at your door. It's always people. Always. Never giant chocolate bars. Only people.