@reczit: Eighty seven percent of single people are single because they don't want to share their pizza with anyone.
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@hpb777: My husband's doing that cute thing again where he thinks he's right. *throws his shit out on the lawn* *makes a bonfire*
@Papa_Mex: Some people are too chipper early in the morning. They don't realize how bad it is for their health.....until I'm choking them
@BrettDruck: I may seem confident on the outside but deep down on the inside I remember every time I've accidentally leaned on a light switch.