@reczit: Eighty seven percent of single people are single because they don't want to share their pizza with anyone.
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@squirrel74wkgn: People tend to overreact when they look in their rear view mirror & see you sitting in their backseat dressed like a clown.
@bobbiejo448: Someone please tell my mother she won't get a free iPod by clicking the links. She's convinced I just don't want to show her how to use it.
@rockymomax: [freezing huddled around fire] Dont worry I brought blankets to keep us warm *throws blankets on fire* that should last a good half hour