@PetiteRainCity: Either my cat is speaking English or that was not a vitamin I took....
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@AtticusFinch79: [trying to fall asleep] SHEEP: count us ME: im good, thanks SHEEP: *louder* count us ME:nope SHEEP: *yelling* count us ME:*sighs* one, two, thr... SHEEP: follow us *one hour later* ME: *knitting a scarf* this is so relaxing
@causticbob: I was thrilled when this beautiful girl came up and asked me for a date. Then I realised it was just because I work at a dried fruit stand.
@GingerHotDish: Excuse me lady, either your baby is crying or your tea is ready...regardless, fix that shit.
@ShittyComedian: When you said coke I assumed you meant cocaine. No thank you. Soda is bad for you.