@rolldiggity: Either the kids on my street were playing with sidewalk chalk, or this is a crime scene and a bunch of stars and cats just got murdered.
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@: ME WATCHING OLYMPIC EVENT: “Holy shit that was amazing!” COMMENTATOR: “Ooh, that was not good at all. He must really be upset with himself.”
@KateWhineHall: I just spent the day painting our fence. All I know is tomorrow I better be able to do karate.
@Lisabug74: My mom sometimes texts me pictures of Buddha with an inspirational text like: "Be kind to others, Evil Lisa"
@UncleDuke1969: He rose from mild mannered Social Studies teacher... To vicious kingpin of a criminal cupcake empire. Coming soon to AMC: "BAKING BRAD"