@TweetsByTheTony: El Chapo is a murderous Mexican drug lord. El Chapo Supreme is a murderous Mexican drug lord with sour cream, lettuce and tomato.
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@TheRohiniReddy: Guys, I only wanna hear about your ex if she is dead.If you still talk about her, I'll murder her so we can have an interesting conversation
@ChrisStokdyk: "This website requires Java" *gets cup of coffee* "This website requires Java" *looks at coffee* *throws coffee at monitor*
@AGreaterMonster: Dear Applicant, Your résumé appears to be a string of stolen tweets. Congratulations, you're our new VP of Marketing!
@MrEd_EVH: -gestures to everything in the Garage- Me- THESE ARE MY TOOLS AND I AM THEIR KING!!! Wife- YOU'RE a tool Me- DAMN RIGHT I AM Wait..what?