@Bill_Nye_Tho__: elephants sleep standing up you could be chillin with an elephant and at any moment they could just be like "lmao for sure, g'night"
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@UNTRESOR: If you cut off a mommy blogger's head she can continue mommy blogging for up to three full minutes.
@david8hughes: Wife: can you change the baby Me: oh thank god. I'm so glad you said that. Yes, yes I will Wife: I don't mean swap it for a new one Me: ...