@horselythighs: Elijah Wood and Toby Mcguire: whoever dies first gets played by the other in the biopic
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@seriouslyemily: This girls skirt is so short I can see how many times her dad missed a dance recital from here.
@inojperez: [Family Dinner] Me: Grandma, please pass the updog. Sister: *Pinches bridge of her nose* Grandma: What's updog? Me: Not much, how about you?