@horselythighs: Elijah Wood and Toby Mcguire: whoever dies first gets played by the other in the biopic
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@RocketRankoon: Comcast: "Would you like to upgrade your Internet service to include cable?" Me: "No thanks, the illegal downloading has that base covered."
@Nonnie_Linda: Sitting here eating blueberries wondering if my brain is improving Doubt it..... took too long to spell doubt
@david8hughes: "Was he better than me?" "Joe, don't." "I have a right to know!" "No, he wasn't better than you." [god appears] "Mary, what the hell?"