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@Home_Halfway: "Emma Stone" ~ Italian man telling you he's high
@MCaparco: Jesus??? Nah, Vishnu is my copilot...he's got like 4 arms.
@darinlovesbacon: Some woman at my office just said Star Trek when we were all talking about Star Wars and now our IT guy is refusing to fix her computer.
@karencheee: "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take." - neighborhood drunk
@simoncholland: You should be able to make your GPS call you a code name.
"Bobcat, in 3.1 miles turn left"
"Recalculating, Bobcat, you're going rogue."
@batkaren: Accidentally ran the wash with Ecstasy still in a back pocket. Now my jeans are freaking out, and the zipper won't stop grinding its teeth.