@Home_Halfway: "Emma Stone" ~ Italian man telling you he's high
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@trojansauce: LOIS LANE: *pulls back from kissing* clark your glasses are hurting my nose can you take them off CLARK KENT: no
@BillPelicanBros: I've got a black eye, a $200 fine and I've been listed on a register...turns out taking candy from a baby wasn't so easy after all.
@TheWoodenslurpy: If a woman asks if she looks fat, it’s not enough to say “no.” You must also act very surprised by the question. Jump backwards if necessary