@wittybigtwittys: Emo Kids: you've seen one, you've seen the mall
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@jackmackenroth: My bank says my password isn't strong enough. Did it ever stop and think that my password has a lot going on right now?
@kimmie_1980: I should start a wine company and name the bottles things like "don't be sad" "he's not worth it" "you deserve better"!
@KeetPotato: [2 years after going missing at zoo] wife: [points at TV] "omg thats him" me: [on the news inside kangaroos pouch] "why is noone helping me"