@toomanytoes: "Endless shrimp" sounds nice until you realize they are serious. It's a threat. The shrimp will never stop.
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@relatabledad: dude *scoffs like 7 times in a row* of course i'm not a virgin... i have lots of *starts readin hand, ink is hella smudged* secular intercom
@amberfw: A mom sat down next to me at the park, smiled and asked, "Which one's yours?" I replied, "None of them... yet."
@_davidlucas_: Me: How are you? Co-worker: *Gives 20 minute dissertation on their gastro infection*