@omgthatspunny: England doesn't have a kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool
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@Jerrypleasure: [First Day as a doctor] Nurse: We need to draw some blood Me: *Sweating* I forgot my crayons and drawing sheets Patient: *fainted*
@Amburglar_: Sochi is doing that thing where they manically try to clean the house 10 minutes before company arrives. But the house is Russia.
@Moemontes: To the dude i just saw driving a beat up Ford mini van with spare tire and dream catcher on mirror: that dream catchers not working dude!
@MelvinofYork: At this stage of my life, "Good in Bed" means not snoring or stealing the covers.