@KrunkedRobot: Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app and it just sent an ambulance to my house.
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@KyleMcDowell86: [Old lady] Please dont pet my dog. She's a service dog [Me] Omg I'm so sorry (stands up straight & salutes dog) Thank you for your service
@PhuktUpScott: My neighbour was rushed to hospital today after a wasp landed on his face. It didn't sting him, luckily I got it first with my shovel.