@splendidcynic: Establish dominance at the dentist by hitting them with a rock and asking if THAT is comfortable.
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@TheMainlandBlog: Maybe if I do the opposite and let my kids eat off the floor, more food would end up on the table.
@13spencer: An Italian rugby player will miss a match against Scotland after being bitten by a dog; Scotland was quoted as saying "good boy."
@TheMichaelRock: Wife: Where are the kids? Me *turns off router* [from down the hallway] HEYYYYYYY!!!! Me: They're in their rooms.