@splendidcynic: Establish dominance at the dentist by hitting them with a rock and asking if THAT is comfortable.
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@iwearaonesie: wife: Why don't we run through the parking lot? me [laying on the ground in front of the car that hit me] Because it's dangerous
@joeljeffrey: The first sin in the Bible was eating an apple. The second was murder. That escalated quickly.
@Reverend_Scott: Wife: "Notice anything?" Me: "Is it your hair, shoes, dress, eyelashes, mascara, lipstick, or nails?" Wife: "You forgot to wear pants."