@squirrel74wkgn: Establish dominance at your in-laws by continuing to eat that piece of fruit even though you didn’t know it was plastic.
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@BrianHDot: Chinese Food: $16.72 Gas to Get to Restaurant: $1.94 Getting Home and Realizing They Forgot One of Your Food Containers: Riceless
@causticbob: Waterboarding at Guantanamo Bay sounds super fun if you don't know what either of those things are.
@ginadivittorio: The fastest land animal is a cheetah, the fastest bird is a peregrine falcon, and the fastest human is my Mom when anyone tags me in anything on Facebook