@Darlainky: Establish your dominance with the drive-thru attendant by saying, "That completes my order" before they ask.
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@_Water_Baby: *Tinkerbell sprinkling pixie dust* Remember Peter, give me a call if it last longer than 4 hours.
@Parkerlawyer: "I got in a fight at Michaels over glitter glue once, so you should probably step aside." -Me, to a guy buying the last of my favorite wine
@Matt_the_1st: If Seal was my friend, I would never miss an opportunity to ask him, "Wanna go clubbing?"
@Papa_Mex: I hate it when the neighbor's dog gets out because I accidentally pick the lock on their gate, leave it open, and put down a trail of food