@ericsshadow: [eulogy] "Before we get started I'd like to ask Jenny, Dawn, Rachel, the deceased's 2 sons and the entire front row to put down your phones"
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@Mr_Kapowski: *Boss approaches desk* "What the fu.." Me, wearing paper clip necklace - "See? I knew you'd be mad so I made you one too"
@markydoodoo: Go suck an egg. Lick a mango. Breathe on an avocado. Make everyone at the grocery store uncomfortable.