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@cydnizoi: Even Forrest Gump got laid.
This is bullshit.
@MableGertrude: I would pay big bucks to Sea World to see a dolphin fly out of a water tank into the stands and start rolling around and eating people.
@Matt_the_1st: Cop: do you know why I pulled u over?
Me: yeah, I was going like 120 back there
Cop: sir, your tailamp is out
@sf14: Make sure you don't forget the 'R' when you're Googling, "movies of Gary Oldman."
@DirtMcTurd: One difference between Men & Women is nicknames.
Woman: This is Michelle, we call her Shelly
Man: This is Johnny, we call him Long Nuts
@HousewifeOfHell: An enterprising neighborhood kid started a business to fill in all those grownup coloring books for us. I feel more relaxed already.