@Black__Elvis: Even if you disagree with his politics you have to admit that for a second term president he doesn't even look pregnant.
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@faulkingway: (Starbucks drive thru) Me: I'd like to pay-it-forward for the car behind me. Barista: That will be $30 Me: How much for the car behind him?
@dru0887: When someone says “No Biggie”, I reply with “not since ‘97” and immediately break down crying