@Mr_Kapowski: Even if you're single, always blame a declined credit card on your fictional spouse at the register.
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@jonnysun: look. life is bad. evryones sad. we're all gona die. but i alredy bought this inflatable boumcy castle so r u gona take ur shoes off or wat
@KalvinMacleod: GENIE: and for your first wish? ME: I wish that the end of every bag of chips was the start of another GENIE: holy shit!
@_SingleBabyMama: Drug commercial...Don't take this medication if you are allergic to this medication. Oh, ok. That's super helpful, thank you.
@tekkie: Girlfriend: Ok you hang up :-) Boyfriend: No You hang up first :-) Girlfriend: no you first Boyfriend: No you first NSA: both of you hang up