@Mr_Kapowski: Even if you're single, always blame a declined credit card on your fictional spouse at the register.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Sassafrantz: Sitting on my hand until it gets numb so it feels like someone else is folding my laundry.
@MableGertrude: If you know a clumsy person you secretly wish would die, give them some rollerblades.
@SethMacFarlane: Hey online media: "Comfortability" isn't a word. The noun you're looking for is "comfort." And it doesn't need you to give it a fancy hat.
@ImJESSPlayin: Maybe, "only if you're taking me to dinner" wasn't the best response to, "is this going down?" to the guy on the elevator. Flirting is hard