@DTelf: Even on my death bed my wife will be telling me how she had a worse day than me.
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@TheAlexNevil: My first job in retail taught me that the customer is always right. Until they're out of earshot.
@jake_likes_naps: *locks hands with stranger in elevator* im nervous, this is my first time flying
@Playing_Dad: Reporter: Is there anything you can do to make people hate you more? Rodger Goodell: Coldplay is doing the Super Bowl halftime show.