@DTelf: Even on my death bed my wife will be telling me how she had a worse day than me.
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@StellaGMaddox: Nothing makes me second-guess my language like a little voice chirping, "Mommy, I found your freaking measuring spoons."
@TheWadest: Me: *unfreezes cro-magnon woman I uncover on an arctic expedition* Cro-magnon woman: "I have a boyfriend."
@thegayfarmerguy: Doc: You have gallstones Me: Ugh. Doc: You can control it with diet. Me: Great! Doc: No chocolate, cheese, fried foods... Me: Take it out.
@iMikosnyc: Why yes, person on the Internet, I would love to make $596 per day sitting at home. Let's do this!!!