@DTelf: Even on my death bed my wife will be telling me how she had a worse day than me.
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@daemonic3: HIM: Happy birthday, honey! I got you a gift basket, just like you wanted HER: Oh thanks! What's in it? HIM: What do you mean, "in it"?
@Michael1979: There are probably fewer bees around now because a lot of them are still in prison for murdering Macaulay Culkin in My Girl
@JediGigi: Him: I'm leaving you. Me: [can't hear him because I'm trying to breakdance in my bubble wrap suit]
@LoveNLunchmeat: STOP ACTING LIKE THIS GROCERY STORE GIFT CARD ISN'T ROMANTIC. WHO DOESN'T LIKE FOOD?