@somelightcrying: Ever find a mirror that makes you look really good and you're like oh OK this is where I live now I live in this airport restroom now
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@jordan_stratton: My parents never allowed violent video games. Just family-friendly board games with questions like, "Who murdered this guy with a pipe?"
@DurtMcHurtt: [meeting girlfriend at the park] Her: Surprise! I made us a picnic! Me: *unfolding emergency bib from wallet* Holy shit let's do this.
@droidbears: interviewer: any interests outside of work me: war and space documentaries mom: he means star wars me: mom stay in the car mom: nerd
@thatcarlygirl: "Please don't do this," I beg, as the hairdresser tries to start up another conversation.