@JayUhOh: Ever have to pee so bad you let a pigeon watch your kids for a minute?
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@mexinonblonde: *jumps on stage and snatches up mic and screams* LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR, LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR! *gets escorted out of church*
@AmishPornStar1: I don't know why I always end up behind the old lady who is trying to do a reverse mortgage on her home at the ATM.
@inanimatecorpse: The bit in Snow White when Grumpy's like "put her in a glass coffin so we can see her decompose" And Doc's like "Man! You're getting worse!"