@mikeleffingwell: Every boy band song should have a part where they realize they're singing about the same girl & get mad at each other.
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@1CleverGirl1: Me: I'm super funny. I mean, how could 13K people be wrong? Husband: There were WAY more people in the Nazi party. Me:.................
@Brampersandon_: WIFE: would you chop these onions for me ME: sure WIFE: I meant with a knife ME (tightening the belt on my karate robe): aww man