@mikeleffingwell: Every boy band song should have a part where they realize they're singing about the same girl & get mad at each other.
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@SortaBad: If I hear someone crying I immediately cry louder to establish myself as the dominant sad person in the room
@UncleDuke1969: Daughter: Here you go! Me: You're my favorite. Son: Yesterday, you said I was your favorite! Me: Yesterday, you were closest to the remote.
@topherjordan: First, there was Planking, then Owling and Milking, now there's Harlem Shaking. If the next trend could be Thinking, that would be great.
@jonnysun: SPELLING BEE: spell "configurable" ME: C-O-N-F-I-G-U-R-A-B-- SPELLING BEE: (interupting) yes i am a bee but i fail to see why thats relevant