@mikeleffingwell: Every boy band song should have a part where they realize they're singing about the same girl & get mad at each other.
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@thatUPSdude: Her; My phones dead let me use yours Me; (throws phone out car window) oh I must of left it at home
@Robert_Beau: At the motel: Front Desk: And here's your key card sir .. Me: I'd like a wakeup call. FD: You're 20 lbs. overweight and your fly's open.
@anna5skin: my mom and my little brother switched phones and my mom received this text and I am crying lmaooo