@MrEmilyHeller: Every commercial for every product should have a scientist looking into a microscope. That gives me the confidence to buy
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@KeetPotato: [schmoozing at fancy dinner] me: im a private investigator wife: you're allowed to say gynaecologist, keith me: people are eating, linda
@jimmytorosian: *Buys map of world, pins it up on wall* *Throws dart, swears to visit wherever it lands* *Visits the middle of the Atlantic Ocean*
@3sunzzz: The closest I've ever come to being a 'hunter and gatherer' is opening my own pistachios.
@mattgallo123: *goes to get phone out of car *sees car has been stolen *finds phone in back pocket OH THANK GOD