@SamGrittner: Every horse you've ever seen has two people inside them. Horses aren't real. Commitment is.
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@KatieKatCubs: My dad likes to come to my office & tell the receptionist he's my parole officer in case you were wondering how I turned out like this.
@seandunn76: "What about this? What about this? And this?"--me, taunting museum curator MC Hammer.