@SamGrittner: Every horse you've ever seen has two people inside them. Horses aren't real. Commitment is.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Ristolable: 100% of car accidents happen within exactly five miles of something. If you're within five miles of anything right now, move.
@david8hughes: [at the drs] Dr: are you sexually active? Me: yeah Dr: with real people Me [avoiding eye contact & twisting my foot in the ground]: yip
@LuvPug: If there's ever an apocalypse, you'll recognize me because I'll be the zombie wearing flip flops
@Fat_Jalbert: [trailer] Narrator: THIS SUMMER, KEVIN HART Me: oh no Narrator: GUESS WHAT HE'S DOING Me: another cop m- Narrator: ANOTHER COP MOVIE