@SamGrittner: Every horse you've ever seen has two people inside them. Horses aren't real. Commitment is.
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@sarcasticmommy4: A quick way to get your kids to leave you alone is to say, "I need to make your dentist appointment."
@astutenewf: Whenever I'm behind a college girl in starbucks she has to order a triple mocha dark chocolate raspberry ugg boot white iphone 5 spice latte