@NerishaLakha: Every morning, I jog around my block 15 times. Then I pick the block up and put it back with the rest of it's little Lego friends.
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@seamussaid: if your religion infringes on people's rights; sorry, you've had hundreds of years to change everyone's mind- obviously that hasn't happened
@ibid78: Rookie cop: "But sir, why would man's laughter be a crime?" Chief: "ffs kid, it's one word. Manslaughter."
@mompsychologist: Husband: So we've basically given up. Me: On what? H: *gestures to 4yo carefully piling spaghetti on his head*: Parenting.
@Michael_Erhart: "Why don't you just tell her how you feel?" "Well, alright." "Girl, I feel with my nerves."