@Monicann86: Every morning I wake up super pissed at my parents because I have to go to work instead of living off a trust fund.
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@ehdannyboy: Before pulled pork, pork just used to stand on the edge of the dance-floor, nodding to the music and looking cool.
@scott_towel: Convicted of murdering the English language, he was sentenced to death by elocution.
@TheRolo: Nurse: You can come inside now. *Stands up* *Dusts off jacket* *Straightens bow tie* *Fastens cufflinks* *Ahem* "That's what she said"