@Monicann86: Every morning I wake up super pissed at my parents because I have to go to work instead of living off a trust fund.
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@jimmytorosian: [two hours into describing a criminal to a police sketch artist] ...But when he took off the mask, he just looked like a normal guy
@Mekellie: As I see it, the act of lovemaking should be sacred, caring, and worth the 200 bucks I charge for it.
@SqueakyFreckles: This crunchy cat food tastes a lot like I just poured from the wrong packet into my cereal bowl.