@KKAlThani: Every morning when the alarm goes off, I wake up & say "it's time to chase my dreams!" & then I press the snooze button & go back to sleep.
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@QuiteQuietOne: The embarrassment when you wake up to find your panties hanging from a chandelier and think, how did I end up in a place with a chandelier?
@_Water_Baby: Whose bad idea was it to text him a 4th time just in case his phone was being weird? Tequila, I'm looking at you.
@psybermonkey: Me: I haven't spoken to my mom in years. I do love her though. Therapist: She isn't going to live forever. You should call and tell her. Me: You're right...*dials number* Mom, you're going to die *hangs up*
@MartaEffing: I hate when I catch a bouquet at a wedding and everyone judges me for lighting it on fire.