@Smooheed: Every night it sounds like my neighbors take turns at running headfirst into their walls
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@OhNoSheTwitnt: "You know, the average woman does it at least 8 times a year in her sleep." -Peter Parker attempting to convince Mary Jane to swallow
@PajamaBen_: You know what I really like about you, girl? You're really down to earth. *waits for response, nothing. Goes to next tombstone* You know wha
@Dutch_50: Denied candy because I "didn't wear red". Kicked out of the office because I "didn't wear pants". I'm tired of these Valentine's Day rules.
@shanethevein: I thought I felt a spider crawling on my neck. Now I have to pretend I was breakdancing at this bank.