@ANNIEwayyyy: Every since my Grandma discovered Netflix she’s been calling me w/ suggestions like “ok write this down, it’s called Friends, F-R-I-E-.....”
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@Lmao: 5 kinds of fear: - panic - terror - 15 missed calls from mom - "wrong password" - "we need to talk"
@AndrewChamings: [joyriding in stolen Lamborghini] HER: No way this thing does 150. ME: Only one way to find out... [pulls over & checks wikipedia]
@TheCatWhisprer: Reached the age where I have to do like 150 healthy things every day just so it doesn't hurt when I burp.