@ANNIEwayyyy: Every since my Grandma discovered Netflix she’s been calling me w/ suggestions like “ok write this down, it’s called Friends, F-R-I-E-.....”
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@NintenDom: I bet the first guy to pee on someone's jellyfish sting was NOT trying to help them.
@david8hughes: Me: can I have a few extra days off over Christmas Boss: it's May Me: sorry, may I have a few extra days off over Christmas
@GoldenSpirals: A truck just flipped a dead squirrel onto my windshield and it's stuck in my wiper. I guess I don't have to stop to get supper tonight.