@Parentpains: Every so often my mother has a great idea, usually it involves leaving my house.
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@cjcapbt: I knew I was going to jail when I yanked at the cop pants and they didn't tear away ..
@EndhooS: [Interview] "Do you have any previous experience dealing with animals?" [flashback to my flatmate leaving toast crumbs in the butter] ..Yes.
@13spencer: After Captain America was thawed from the ice, his first encounter with a Japanese-American must've been really awkward.
@TheAlexP: [Riding carousel] Her: um, we should move on Me: *drunkenly trying to feed horse sugar packets* hold on, he just needs to get used to me.