@Parentpains: Every so often you come across a person that supplies you with endless motivation, even if it is just to jump into traffic.
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@HatfieldAnne: You in the crosswalk: I stopped for you. I stopped. I'm stopped. I won’t unstop. Don’t look at me. Just walk. Go. For the love of God.
@Bob_Heller: "May I have my surgery badge, Scout Master?" "Um, there's no such thing." "There was no such thing as a duck squirrel til now. Badge me!"
@TheBeerGuy73: Note to self: When the wife asks "Do you like my new hair", don't reply with "It'll grow back, right?"
@Swishergirl24: I just found out that the only thing you need to apply for a marriage license is your ID and an idiot.