@TheNaique: Every time a magician graduates from his school and throws his hat in the air at the convocation, PETA sues him for cruelty to rabbits.
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@KrissiBex: Any time someone says "have you seen that YouTube video?" I always say yes......... Because otherwise they make you watch it on their phone
@Bob_Heller: Jesus loves me. This I know. For my neighbor told me so. Jesus is a Puerto Rican that lives two doors down. I'm flattered...but straight.
@215potter: If the human race has a "signature move," its gotta be lying to the dentist about flossing.
@Elizasoul80: [my husband turning onto our street] "know what I think?" husband: you don't have to say it everytime. "we've been down this road before"