@Book_Krazy: Every time I eat a cookie in bed, I imagine it screaming "I'M GONNA CRUMB" because I have something wrong with me
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@mustachewine: I laugh like a dumbass every time I hear the term 'manhole'. Maturity will not be reached.
@CherBear162: Even my cats are sick of the snow..They meow to go out..I open the door..and they freeze and look at me like "WHY is this shit still here?"
@The_Amazon_Eve: "Oh, you decided to close your bedroom door with me on the outside? Allow me to sing you the song of my people." -my cat
@BromanConsul: My therapist told me today that I need to stop talking to inanimate objects, but I mean he's just a lamp so what does he really know anyway