@OverlandParker: Every time I hear someone say "The Lord works in mysterious ways," I picture him performing miracles while doing the robot.
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@miller_tm: Just got an email from dominoes said "easy and delicious" they sure know how to talk to a single guy!
@ch000ch: honestly it just makes me fat free italian when u tell me salad dressings aren't a good way to describe emotions
@Book_Krazy: *Arrives at work 2 hrs late Boss: HR wants to see you about your behavior Me: Well, I literally just got here so it couldn't have been me
@Manda_like_wine: Whenever you're having a bad day, think of the guy who has to put the circus tent back in its bag.