@sammyrhodes: Every time I lose a sock I like to imagine it went to set one of Dobby's house elf friends free.
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@noog: Exposing kids to violent video games is appalling. They should be in church praying to a bloody statue of a man nailed to a cross in agony.
@patrickhogan91: *Frankenstein arrives with his monster at a bodybuilding contest* "Oh, you meant... you meant it like... ugh. Well that was a waste of time"
@comer310: Hey gurl, were you taped to the inside of a birthday card from my grandmother? Cause you're a dime.
@Lipgloss_Nerd: Even in the darkest moments there's always a light at the end of the tunnel, but yours will probably be an oncoming freight train.