@sammyrhodes: Every time I lose a sock I like to imagine it went to set one of Dobby's house elf friends free.
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@Maui_Speaks: Nice Fitbit bro. I didn't realize that they had a model you can wear around your ankle.
@iGreenBabe: Twitter makes me want to have drinks with people I've never met, and Facebook makes me want to throw drinks at people I already know.
@GreenEyedLoon: Saved a man from a speeding car Man: Can't trust anyone Me: True Man: Us old ones got to stick together Pushed him in front of the next car